If you're not the one.
Profile

I hope my little voice could speak up for myself, for once. I dont wish anyone to hear me, but i really need to scream.

Tag

Your tagboard codes here. Best is <110px, yep!

Links

Layout: vehemency
Icon: reruntherace
Saturday, November 14, 2009, 5:30 AM
Episode 2

It was my first love.

It was the best sweetest memories, and also stained with the worst haunting nightmares. I was th one who ruined it all. Because my first ended when it hasn't even started.

I was angry then. And very immature too. I was really mad with Weijie then. He was just giving me atttitude everyday, for no reason. And he is like pmsing and idiotic, and it really pisses me off. we weer quarrelling like every day. We can even quarrel on msn. strangely. quarrelling over what? i cannot rmb... but we just spent nights arguing insignificant issues. And im sick of this. And him. That was what i thought. I hate him then.

It was the worst mistake i made. I went out with zeguang few times, and i dont really know him. Just know his name is zeguang. And he is a bastard, according to limay and weiseng. But i dont believe them (uh......) Know that he looks a normal person. And me him yinghui went out tgt few times. And i decided to be his girlfriend. Wtfffff?

That was when everything happened.

And my world fell apart. And my friends, the ones who backstab and those who stand by me, i could tell now.

It was the worst 2months in my life.

Background- Outline.
I thought zg really liked me. when we got tgt, after a day, i knew it was a mistake. It was wrong. But anyw, soon, the whole class knew. Zg told wj, and th boys. I told kq, but not my friends in HM (this was my biggest mistake). and soon, probably the whole cohort knew. That i was a bitch.

I know i am one. I admit. Wtf have i done? seriously. Wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! everywhr i went, everyone stared at me like oh fuck that bitch!!!!! okay anyway, after 6days, i couldn't take it anymore. Let's stop this.

So we stopped. for awhile.




4:12 AM
Episode 1

I was sec 3.

Being in a new class, everything seems fun and exciting.... meeting new people.. I dont know why, but it is so different from my last 14 years. Guys started to talk to me, like you know, initiate to know me. This seems weird.... But well, i started making new friends..... like weijie, weiseng, tohwei, zeguang, lowell, benjamin, jieming etc.... I have new friends, including some from sec 2IT too nonetheless, such as ashley, baoyi, anping, huiqin. I thought it was the worst disastrous thing to ever happen to go to a same class as baoyi, for all th childish things tht happen between us in our lower sec life. but anyw, i thought we could just start anew, and we'll be good friends again! anyway life looks bright. I'm happy. :)

But the sad thing was that khaiqin, my good friend, didn't come 3HM with me. Ah, groans. I really love her to be with me, and in my class. and then her class, 3IT was really horrible. They look like gangster, all of them. And there was few, very few, 2IT people gng to 3IT. And it was like a new unfamiliar environment for her. Plus plus, her class is too noisy for studying. At the same time, florence's good friend, or florence's clique member, (which is all the goood friends, i mean all of them are close and good friends), qianyun was in 3IT too. And since 3HM and 3IT are taking th same subject combination, qianyun wanted to switch over to 3HM. Weiseng, which is sally's good friend (her brother) wanted to come to 3HM too. (they all thought 3HM seems fun and nice and warm and etc....) So they wanted to talk to the principal and etc etc..... to see if they can switch over. Weijie knew about this, so he told me about it. And knowing this, i naturally asked khaiqin if she wanted to switch over. And of course kq wanted to come to HM too, since all her friends are here. Kq told qianyun about it too. And so qianyun, kq and weiseng wanted to come HM.

But unfortunately, and i dont know why either, qianyun and weiseng wasn't on very good terms for a period of time. (this was what qianyun told me) But qianyun wanted to see the principal and dont want to wait for weiseng, as she wanted to change class quickly. so qianyun asked th principal whether she and khaiqin could come to HM. (she said 2people want to switch to HM) But i think it was already March then. And qianyun's request failed. So nobody could change class. So even if qianyun asked whether weiseng and her could change class, the request would still fail.

Sally, who wanted weiseng to come HM was very angry. She thought because qianyun asked whether 3 of them (qianyun, weiseng, kq) can change class, so principal rejected her. And she's crossed with weijie for telling me about the whole changing class thing. and caused me to ask kq to switch class, which led to weiseng's request to come to HM to fail. She was really really angry and started to blog on her blog, calling Weijie the 'researcher' and me, the 'Bitch'. I really wonder what i did wrong... ): but it was still ok. But still, it was my first time being scolded a bitch on a blog for a guy, for weiseng.

Sally was my friend. We were good friends. We were in a clique. But she called me a bitch. Am i supposed to confront her? Am i supposed to be angry? Can i? Or should i just act like i dont know? This was the first time she betrayed me as a friend.

I just act like i didnt know, which later i knew it shouldn't be the way i always act. Like a coward.

And she wasn't a good person. (she could call me bitch but we were still "friends" in sch )




4:10 AM
Introduction

Hi world.

This is my little space. I need to talk to myself and face bravely to my feelings and my wound. Like giving myself a break, and coming to the reality, without fear. Because i need to move on.

I am Joanna, 16.